[10:58 p.m.] [2004-02-16]
[Momma said...]

Today was a difficult day. I was told by the Animal Shelter that my girl Julia had to be put down. There was no room at the inn. I do not necessarily agree with the timing, but I do think that Julia was deteriorating in the shelter environment. All I wanted to do was find her a good home where someone would love her forever. I know that Doc had a hard time choosing which dog was not doing well in the shelter, but I wish that he would have found a different dog...not that any dog should be put down do to lack of room. One of my promises to myself is to never let this happen again. I need to develop and impliment a plan to increase our adoption rate. Anyone want a dog?

When one is gone, eleven more come in. Today we also recieved a momma golden retriever and her ten golden/lab puppies (2 days old). They are so beautiful! I have already made a space in my heart for the runt. What a cutie. Welcome to puppy season. As I was leaving I was told that we were to expect 2 more litters of puppies by the end of the day. Please, please spay and neuter your pets.

On another note, I visited with my grandmother today. I dusted and vacuumed her upstairs. She has not gone upstairs in over 5 years. She has not slept in her bed upstairs since my grandfather died 7 years ago.

Paul is still in the hospital. I went to visit again tonight, but I did not stay very long. He is struggling with the decision to be operated on or not. He has until midnight tonight to make that decision. I pray that he is able to find peace with his decision. I pray that he makes a speedy recovery.

Bill is down in Daytona tonight. He finished his work in less than a day and is now trying to catch an early flight home tomorrow. I am going to be picking him up at the airport. He gave me a mix cd to listen to when he left. The songs that happen to be on the cd were so poignant for me today. Sometimes it scares me how well he knows me.

Well, that is all that I know today. My brain feels slow, my heart empty. I don't understand why I feel so low today. So much joy wrapped in so much sorrow. I am just blank. Days like today, I wish I had someone to curl up with and slowly fall asleep with. Someone to sing a lullaby into my hair as I forget that there is a world outside of the two of us.

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